#WordsToLiveBy

    Theme of the day: get your happy on. #wordstoliveby

I Don't Know What the F*** I'm Doing

Sometimes I feel like, in the simplest terms, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. And I know that I'm not alone, because everywhere I turn I'm faced with other twenty-somethings who are also proclaiming "what the fuckk?!" (Try saying that again in a sing-songy voice. It's more effective.) I've come to the conclusion that this is just a confusing time. I'm graduating from college in a month, I'm applying to jobs like an insane person, so many, I might add, that when I get a call from someone telling me that they "saw that I recently submitted my resume online," I have to stop myself from saying, "Really, because I'm pretty sure I've never heard of your company in my life." I'm in the awkward "I want to move out but I don't know if I'm ready and can I really afford this right now?" phase, and to top it all off, I have this damn blog that now feels more like a hamster that I just had to have 3 weeks ago, and now can barely remember to feed in the morning. Don't get me wrong; I love it, It's just so damn needy and I don't have the energy for that right now. So what do I do? What do you do? What do you do when you don't know what the fuck you're doing? Do you meditate, cry, take a nap, watch Corgi videos? I would try to write a conclusion sentence, but keeping with the theme of this post... no.

Dear Halloween, We're Not Ready Yet

For me, Halloween represents a number of things. First off, it is my favorite holiday. Secondly, I don't know why, because every single year for the past forever, I've had the same problem. I come up with one partially thought through idea that has great growth potential, but before I can even think it through ideas 2 through 297 simultaneously enter my brain. And it's not even like they enter in an orderly fashion. They all try to squeeze through the same damn door until eventually there's just so much energy that they're forced through. But they don't simmer down once they're in; they bounce around like a bunch of hyperactive children for the next 3 months. And then it's January. And then I choose a costume. But besides the fantasy of having a sensational costume, there is so much more to love about Halloween. For example, the candy, the treats, the decorations, das haunted haus, the TV specials, the pumpkin patch, the hay rides, the parties, and seeing dogs dressed as various meats and historical figures. But if you're like me, don't let the simple fact that you suffer from an undiagnosed undocumented condition called Adrenal Gland Hyperactivity Syndrome hold you down. You may have been unable to confirm an awesome costume with your brain thus far, but that doesn't mean you can't have the best Halloween costume ever. There's still time. Don't lose hope. Pinterest is here to help. Pinterest Saves Halloween

How Much is This "Degree" of Mine Reallyy Worth?

Recently, I got to thinking, and in my thinking I came to the conclusion that it's time I make more money. It's time that my skills are worth more than less than $10 an hour. Then it hit me: I'm graduating from college in two months. And what does that mean, my friends? That means that in the blink of an eye and the step of a foot across a stage and the placing of a rolled up piece of non-drug related paper in my hands, all of my skills and opinions will suddenly be worth significantly more than they were 17 seconds before when I did not have this official declaration of knowledge attained. And that, is an empowering realization. Because I know how this works. They say you need to earn a degree to get a good job, so you get one, then they tell you that you still aren't qualified for any positions at a real person company, so you just stare at them like what the fuck? It all makes a lot of sense, really. But I can't be upset, because at the very least, in the final semester of the last year of my four year term as undergrad, I have learned that my degree is worth a minimum of $3 more per hour at my current job. I calculated this value by using a very simple formula that involves thinking of an arbitrary number, and presenting it to your boss while simultaneously asserting your position as college graduate and heavily implying that denial of a pay increase will result in your suggesting a lower number. It's all politics. And since I'm bad at both lying and negotiating, I should go very far.

Body, Mind, and a Nice Behind

This is part of a new thing I'm doing where I post things more frequently. It's called being consistent, and I hope you like it. Recently over the past decade I've been getting really into body/mind peace. Hippie shit, but with bras, and a little less granola. I used to direct most of my fitness efforts towards physical fitness, getting a nice ass and what not, but at some point after dealing with (and putting myself through) years of anxiety and stress at the hands of my schizophrenic serotonin levels, I realized that the health of my mind is just as important as the health of my ass body. And since that realization, I have come to a beautiful place. And no, bitties, that place does not involve scenic views or ocean breezes. No breakfast in bed, or thoroughbred ponies. That place involves a few billion neurons, a hippopotathalamus, and some very squishy gray stuff. That place, bitties, is my brain. And guess what? You've got one too. Which means that you, too, have a 24/7 fast past to the happiest place on earth. And no, I am not high right now.

One technique that I'm slowly and not so surely getting into is yoga, and although it can be frustrating, unpleasant, and all around painful, it can also be very calming when you know your limits. For example, I am, and always will be, a yoga beginner. I don't want to lift a full grown man using only the strength of my big toe, I just want to touch my big toe without breaking my back. So imagine my joy when I happened to find this amazing bunny [morning] yoga sequence on Pinterest! It's perfect for beginners, it's a great way to stretch and reenergize after a workout, and all the moves are diagramed by a sassy bunny guru.

Things They Don't Teach You In School

With the end of my academic career quickly approaching, I've been forced to think about things that never seemed like real threats to my survival until this moment. For example, finding a real job, moving out of my parents' house, paying taxes, buying groceries, finding a reliable dog breeder, being able to purchase both cable and high speed internet at an affordable price, and whether or not I should invest in a landline, to name a few. And as would follow suit, these thoughts lead to questions such as, "WHY HAVEN'T I LEARNED ANYTHING USEFUL IN THE PAST 16 PLUS YEARS THAT I HAVE BEEN IN SCHOOL? end quote. This question has been steadily buzzing in the back of my mind since sophomore year of high school when I realized that I had been learning the same thing in different classes for the past 10 years, and has reached a fiery boil in recent weeks. We spend years stressing over tests and quizzes and homework and exams on topics that we forget 20 seconds or less after leaving the classroom, and are somehow expected to go on to become productive members of society. Well, I can't very well be a productive member of society if I have a degree in Animal Science but am currently burning down a row of townhomes because no one ever taught me how to properly broil asparagus, now can I? And if it's too much of a stretch to expect educators to spend just a few minutes a week educating students on basic skills such as broiling vegetables and putting out small kitchen fires, what about the hundred and twenty seven other things that could benefit us more than knowing how the American Revolution ended? (Britain still has a queen, so obviously they won.) How about teaching us how to file our own taxes correctly so that we don't have to pay someone to fix it for us when we screw it up? What about teaching us negotiating skills so that we can convince the friendly Jeep salesman that we deserve that brand new Wrangler for $22,050 instead of $33,000? Or how about actually teaching students to hablar español? Like with the slang and stuff. Don't get me wrong, school is great and I'm so grateful that I've been given the opportunity to go, but after a certain point it's like, okay, that's enough of the fluff. I'm teaching myself things now that I wish someone smarter than me had taught me in high school. For free. If you are one of the 4% whose education has left them feeling completely prepared for living productively, please comment with all details of your educational history including schools attended, as well as names and phone numbers of all teachers, advisors, and mentors. And to those, like myself, who need a little extra boost: godspeed. But guess what, even if you do wind up burning your neighbor's house down, you'll survive. And so will your neighbor.

How to Solve 101 Everyday Fashion Problems

Aloha Bitties. I just happened upon this post from a fellow Pinner and really wanted to share it. It has a MILLION and one (actually one hundred and one) tips on EVERYTHING (actually just some things) you could want or need to know about fashion fixes. This nifty little blessing of a list has tips on everything from how to get lipstick stains out of your clothes, to how to prevent icky yellow sweat stains from appearing on your white tees. Check it out. Share the love. Knowledge is power. The Fashion Fairy Godmother